How to Talk So People Will Listen

At the end of any given conversation, whetheraction, follow it up with justifications. Often, but
it's with co-workers, employees, or customers, donot always, ask for feedback on the idea and
you ever find yourself asking the followingallow for brainstorming. Summarize all decisions
questions:and each person's role with dated, specific, and
- "How many times do I have to tell them howmeasurable commitments.
it's done?"3. Take a presentation skills class
- "Why are there so many misunderstandings?"By brushing up on your speaking skills, you can
- "Doesn't anyone ever listen to me?""even the playing field" with those successful but
If so, you're not alone. In companies across theless talented colleagues who got where they are
nation, communication breakdown is one of thebecause of their excellent oratory skills. Most
main challenges managers deal with on a dailyaccomplished speakers take a class or review a
basis. As a result, they spend time restating theirbook on presentation skills every few years to
objectives to the same people over and overbecome more confident, persuasive, and
again, only to have the intended message still geteffective.
altered or confused. Depending on the situation,4. Keep your tone neutral
communication breakdown can have severeDuring every conversation, speak to others as
consequences--everything from lost sales andyou want them to speak to you. Avoid sarcasm
profits to high employee turnover rates.and other hostile behaviors. When you routinely
The warning signs of communication breakdownhumiliate, berate, or poke fun at others, they
include the listener losing interest before you'rewon't listen to much of what you say or go the
finished speaking, your being unable to get theextra mile for you. Speak loud enough so that no
floor at meetings, and doing all the talking during aone must strain to hear you, and speak with
conversation when you want feedback. If any ofauthority, so you'll be perceived as more credible.
these things routinely happen to you duringAs far as what to say, always remember to
conversations, your communication efforts arepraise in public and criticize in private, each time
not effective or efficient.addressing the behavior itself and not the person's
Traditionally, most business leaders have spentpersonality.
their time attempting to change the way others5. Reduce your speaking accent
listen. This is an exercise in futility because theWhen listening to someone who has a thick
only element in any interaction you can change isaccent, people routinely miss 10-30 percent of
your part of it. Those professionals who arewhat is said. If you are completely fluent in English
motivated to adjust their speaking in order to getbut still have people asking you to repeat
people to listen, develop better relations withyourself, taking a presentation skills class that
staff, investors and customers. The result will befocuses on accent reduction is a wise career
fewer misunderstandings and more success in themove. It's your job as the speaker to be a clear
business. By making the following adjustments tocommunicator, especially since others won't work
your conversations, you too can experience theto understand you. Additionally, listeners can
satisfying results of positive communication.become embarrassed when they have to
1. Stop talkingcontinually ask you to repeat yourself. Instead,
When someone talks incessantly, the listenervery often they'll nod and smile, and then ask
naturally wants to tune out. Listening is an energyeach other afterward, "What are we supposed to
draining process, so forcing people to listen fordo?" But there is no reason to lose your accent
long periods of time can wear them out. Toentirely, as a charming accent differentiates you
motivate others, especially if you are the boss orfrom the group and is part of your persona.
key figure in a negotiation, be quiet and listen toHowever, with information and videotaped training,
others in order to discover what they are thinking.even a couple of days of coaching can improve
Stop talking long enough to capture the entirecomprehension by 80 percent.
essence of what the other person is saying.Being an effective communicator is the best way
Listen for the value the other person wants toto get others to listen to what you say. Since
add and incorporate that into your response.few people enjoy repeating themselves multiple
2. Get to the pointtimes or the resulting consequences of not getting
Effective communicators don't beat around theimportant messages understood, improve your
bush. They make their points clearly andcommunication skills so that listening is not a
accurately. To do so, start with a single sentenceburden for others. The result will be that listeners
that notes your positive intent. Next, state thewill hear and comprehend you each time you
overall goal. Once you make your suggestion forspeak.